Heihachi Mishima's Nostalgic Iron School of Fist
by Getemono
Summary: Another high school fic."It's time to meet your doom, fool." Kazuya spat, winding his arm back before firing a dodge ball at his son. Jin dramatically dove out of the way, and it hit Paul instead.
1. This has to be illegal

Disclaimer: As much as I hate to admit this, I don't own Tekken.

**A/N: Done because last night I hit the bowling alley with my peeps from my old AP English class, and it got me missing high school. Yes, I'm a total nerd.**

Chapter One: This has to be illegal

Michelle Chang hovered outside of her car, self-consciously checking her reflection in the window. At forty-one, she was still in wonderful shape (thanks to hours of training with Julia) with no white or even gray hairs visible among her brown strands. She modeled a smile, but immediately stopped when she noticed the small lines forming at the corners of her eyes.

_Okay, it'll be fine as long as I don't smile._ Michelle reassured herself. She pulled her jacket around herself a little tighter, cursing herself for even bothering to show up to a Tekken reunion. She was sure that Jun still looked the same, and Kunimitsu always wore a mask, so it wouldn't have even mattered if her face sagged down to her chest (although it might not be a good choice for the kunoichi to wear spandex anymore). And Michelle couldn't be sure, but she'd heard that Nina and Anna hadn't aged a day since the second tournament. She was sure to be the old maid of the group.

"Well, you're already here, might as well go in." she muttered to herself before walking into the grand hotel lobby.

"Michelle?" Lei asked once she'd made it to the party room. She nodded in acknowledgement. "Hey, long time no see!" the cop rushed over to give her a one-armed hug.

"It's good to see you again." Michelle said, making sure that the corners of her mouth barely lifted and her eyes didn't squint. _Why does he even have to look the same! _Secretly, she'd been counting on her old friend to look a little more like Wang and a little less like Jackie Chan.

"I think you've been doing yourself a favor, not entering the last few tournaments." Lei talked as he guided her in the direction of the bar. "You wouldn't believe the freaks that go to these things."

"You mean there's something worse than Paul?" Michelle joked, sliding onto the stool.

"Just be grateful that you don't know who Bob or Marduk is." Lei told her, sliding into the seat next to her. "I'll have a shot of whiskey." he added to the barkeeper.

"Just a hard lemonade." Michelle ordered, spinning in her seat so she could get a look around. She was happy to note that Ganryu looked like he was trying to sneak away from Wang, who was prattling on and on about something trivial. Kunimitsu was sneaking up behind Paul, going for his wallet. _Too bad it's empty._ Michelle thought with a smirk. Jun looked like she was having a pleasant conversation with Baek, while Bruce, Lee and Anna were obviously reminiscing over something. Nina was at the end of the bar, sipping at a tall glass. Kazuya was standing in the darkest corner of the room, his red eye penetrating through the shadows. Some people never changed.

"You know, this isn't so bad." Michelle said, turning back to Lei. The Chinese man was slumped over the counter, his shot glass empty. Figuring he must have been drinking earlier, Michelle grabbed her lemonade and took long gulp before getting up.

"Hi, Jun, Baek." she greeted as she approached them.

"Michelle, it's so good to see you!" Jun said, bowing slightly. Her eyes flickered to Lei, and she frowned. "Is he out already?"

"Yeah, all those crazy chases around the world must finally be getting to him." Michelle replied.

"Well, he didn't have to pass out when he was talking to you." Jun muttered into her drink, and Michelle rolled her eyes at Baek. It was common knowledge that Jun had spent all of her free time in the second tournament trying to hook her up with Lei.

"How's it been, Baek?" Michelle asked to change the subject.

"Wonderful, as of lately." he answered. "My pupil has finally started to take his training seriously, he hasn't stopped to vandalize property in weeks." he elaborated proudly.

_Note to self, don't let Julia anywhere near Baek's pupil._ Michelle thought. Judging by the look on Jun's face, she was thinking the same thing, except with Jin's name in place of Julia's.

"Anna, are you okay?" Michelle, Baek and Jun turned at the sound of Bruce's voice. Anna was sprawled on the floor, her glass reduced to shards on marble. Lee had crouched down and was examining her vital signs (among other things).

"The little slut probably had too much to drink." Nina slurred, wobbling off of her barstool. She grabbed onto Paul to steady herself, then pushed him to the side when he was no longer needed. "Step aside, I'll kick her awake." Nina walked about three steps towards her sister before collapsing. Lee paled.

"I think there's something in the drinks…" he said drowsily before falling on Anna. Bruce fell over backwards, and Michelle turned back to her old friends, horrified.

"How much did you drink?" Jun asked.

"I tanked about half before getting up." Michelle admitted.

"I had a margarita." Baek said, already kneeling to lean against the wall. "I'd rather not fall over." he explained when they looked at him.

"And I've been drinking these like medicine." Jun looked down at her traitorous martini. She and Michelle took their places on either side of Baek.

"I don't like this, not one bit." Michelle said before losing consciousness.

Kazuya shook his head from his corner. They were all stupid to accept any drinks from Heihachi, even if they were expensive and tasty bar drinks. Deciding that he had seen enough, he strolled over to the entrance, reaching for his keys as he walked. Before he could make it to the door, a rather large sack of potatoes hit him over the head, and he fell on the steps.

"Hmph, Kazuya Mishima taken down by a mere sack of potatoes." Heihachi mused. "Pathetic."

"I'll kill you!" Kazuya shouted, his eyes springing open.

"Holy crap!" Heihachi screamed before bringing the sack of potatoes down on his son's head more times than necessary to knock him out.

"Mother? Mother, wake up!"

"Not so loud." Michelle complained, attempting to roll away from the sound of her daughter's voice. However, it didn't work, as she was sitting upright in a seat.

"No, mom, it's important, you need to get up!" Julia insisted.

"Yeah, I figured that out." Michelle replied, reluctantly opening her eyes. Her arms were strapped to the arms of the chair, and looking around, she could see that she -along with many other fighters- was in an auditorium. She was right between Lei and Jun. Craning her neck, she could see Julia a couple of rows below her, kicking Ganryu's seat. At first Michelle thought it was funny, until she realized that Julia was trying to wake the larger man.

"No, Julia, he's fine the way he is." Michelle told her.

"Oh, mother, don't be petty." Julia said, but before Michelle could argue, a bell rang, echoing throughout the auditorium. Everyone else jolted awake.

"What?" Jun asked, confused. Michelle inwardly pouted. Jun looked even younger up close.

"What's the meaning of this?" Baek asked from the other side of Lei, and Michelle's jaw dropped. She knew that his hair had been salt and peppered just the night before, but now it was back to brown. His face looked younger, too, almost boyish, even.

"Jun…" Michelle said, still gaping at Baek.

"YOU!" Jin's voice could be heard from the front center. The stage light had gone on, and Heihachi stood grinning before them.

"What's going on you ugly freak?" Anna hissed from somewhere off to the right.

"Isn't it obvious?" Heihachi asked impatiently, gesturing to the dimly lit auditorium around them. The fighters took a few moments to exchange confused glances.

"Oh god, he's going to make us play Saw!" Xiaoyu screamed.

"I hope the key is behind _your_ eye!" Miharu shrieked, clenching her eyes shut. Nina grit her teeth. She was seated between the two best friends.

"You better have a good reason for this, Mishima." she growled.

"Oh, I do." Heihachi said, grabbing the microphone off of its stand. "Welcome…to Heihachi Mishima's Iron School of Fist!" he proclaimed, spreading his arms out as he spoke.

"Iron school of fist?" Christie asked. "That doesn't even make any sense!"

"As you may or may not have noticed, I drugged you all with not only copious amounts of rhinoceros tranquilizers, but a youth restoring serum." Heihachi ignored Christie.

"Youth restoring serum?" Kunimitsu asked.

"Shouldn't we be more concerned with the rhinoceros tranquilizers?" Forrest Law asked.

"Yes. Everyone here has been restored to the age of seventeen." Heihachi nodded. "Except for Lili. She's still sixteen." The blonde wrinkled her nose at him.

"I had to give the older people a larger dose, hence, I set up a phony reunion with drinks full of youth serum. And rhinoceros tranquilizer." Heihachi explained his elaborate plan.

"Wait, then how did you get all the younger fighters?" Lei asked suspiciously. The younger generation fidgeted in their seats.

"Oh, that was simple, I just put up a sign that said free beer." Heihachi smirked.

"Actually, it said 'free bear.'" Julia said in a condescending tone. "I had to spell check it for you."

"Quiet, dog-kicker." Heihachi grumbled.

"Do not!"

"Wait, hold on." Eddy said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You turned us all into a bunch of teens so we could attend your stupid school?"

"Duh." Heihachi answered.

"Why? And why would we even attend?" Jun asked.

"One, because all of my soap operas were just cancelled and two, because if you don't…you get sent to the caretaker." Heihachi replied with an evil grin. "Now keep quiet and give your new teachers the utmost attention." As he swept his hand to the side the stage completely lit up, revealing two males and two females, all very familiar.

"Hi!" one of the girls, an extremely attractive brunette wearing a transparent minidress, pranced up to take the microphone from Heihachi. "I'm Selene Swan, a beautiful siren, and I'll be teaching you how to look good and stuff!"

"That's not even a class!" Asuka protested. Selene flicked her hair back, the small golden wings on either side of her head flittering in irritation.

"Well, it should be, and it looks like a lot of you need it." she sassed, sticking her nose in the air and walking back to the side. A tall blonde man took her place at the microphone.

"My name is simply Sasayaki." he greeted, red eyes hungrily taking them all in. Hwoarang in particular shuddered. "And I teach Theatre."

"Just what we need, another freaking _Twilight_." Jin muttered. Sasayaki winked before handing the microphone to a pink-haired girl with cat ears. She grinned, and her mouth seemed a little too big for her face.

"My name is Suzuki the Hacker." she said. "And I teach P.E." she cackled, falling to the floor in hysterical laughter. "Some of you will not make it out alive." she wheezed, and the fighters exchanged worried glances. When she felt that she'd laughed enough, she sprang to her feet and threw the microphone at the last remaining man.

"Uh…my name's Jim Urchin, just Jim." the middle-aged man looked like the only one old enough to be a high school teacher. "I run the study hall." he shrugged.

"Wait, so we only have four classes, and they're theatre, gym, study hall and _looking good_?" Steve asked incredulously. Selene smiled and nodded vigorously. "This is moronic!"

"And now I'd like you to meet the care taker, Janet." Heihachi said smugly. The auditorium shook as something large lumbered to the front of the stage.

"Ah, shit." Lee muttered.

"I'm scared." Lars whimpered to Alisa.

"You mean Marduk!" Bob yelled when the caretaker had stepped into the light.

"Yeah, Marduk in a dress!" Paul added.

"No," The caretaker insisted in a gravelly tone. "It's Janet!"

"Yeah, how dare you mistake her for me!" Marduk yelled in a tone exactly like Janet's. Everyone displayed open shock in their own special way. For Hwoarang, that was screaming and thrashing in his seat, as he was directly beneath the broad woman.

"Steve, gouge out my eyes!" the Korean boy pleaded.

"Now that's enough." Janet rumbled, and Hwoarang seemed to have lost the ability to speak. "Any more of that and you'll be facing a detention, mister." Hwoarang shuddered and twitched, trying to remember how to breathe.

"Why?" Michelle asked no one in particular.

"Why what?" Lei asked.

"Why this?" she pointed her chin at everything, from the fighters strapped to their seats to the morons on stage.

"It's obvious somebody hates us." Lei answered matter-of-factly.

"So, when do we start this stupid school, anyways?" Julia asked.

"Bright and early tomorrow morning." Heihachi informed her.

"Psst!" Baek whispered to get Michelle's attention. "Paul says we should just ditch as soon as they let us free." The older (well, not anymore, technically) fighters nodded, for once liking Paul's idea.

"And you better show up, or Janet _will_ hunt you down." Heihachi said menacingly.

"There hasn't been a man I couldn't hunt down." The large woman told them proudly, and every man in the room lost a few shades of color.

"Good thing I'm a girl." Lili back-sassed, obviously not taking in the depth of the situation.

"That's what I'm for." Sasayaki told her, grinning wide enough to show his fangs.

"And I guess we're going to school tomorrow." Asuka said, and her friends nodded.

"This is ridiculous." Anna complained as soon as they were let loose in the hallway. "I already had to spend my whole high school career seducing teachers to get out of work, I don't want to have to do it again!"

"I just graduated." Ling mumbled sadly, and Miharu nodded.

As Michelle stepped onto the first step outside of the school, she caught her reflection in a window and blinked. When she was sure no one was looking, she smiled, and sure enough there were no crow's feet along her eyes. That's when it finally hit her. She was seventeen. The possibilities were endless.

End Chapter

**A/N: And now you know why it's Nostalgic, I brought back my stupid Ocs from other fics, haha. No one ever complained about them before, and they'll do a good job driving our fighters crazy. Well, sorry it was a little slow, but it should get better. Review please!**


	2. The First Day Part I

Disclaimer: If I really owned Tekken, I think I would be about fifty pounds heavier, sitting in a Jacuzzi and just laughing at the world. (That means no, I do not own Tekken)

Chapter Two: The First Day (Part 1)

Hwoarang cursed as he sped down the road, coming to a screeching halt outside of the pristine building he already hated. Back in Korea, he never showed up to school on time, he was always at least five minutes late. It had been his personal 'screw you' to everyone at school. But here at Heihachi's stupid school he was half an hour early, as he would not risk being hunted down by Janet, or worse, getting stuck in a detention with the manly woman.

He guided his motorcycle to the bike stand and locked it in place. His eyes scanned the parking lot, narrowing when they fell on his rival, who was stepping out of a black convertible.

"Kazama." he muttered under his breath.

"What?" Asuka asked. She was behind him, wheeling her bike in next to his.

"I'm not talking to _you_." he replied viciously.

"Oh, I'm so sorry that I thought you were actually talking to someone with the last name Kazama instead of to yourself. Crazy." Asuka said as she walked away.

"I'm not crazy, you're just not important!" Hwoarang called after her, shaking his fist at her back.

"Puh-lease, you were probably muttering 'Hwoarang' before that 'Kazama', freak." She flipped him off as she walked up the stairs. Hwoarang stared at a rock and seriously considered chucking it at her head, but sighed when he realized the possible punishment for that action.

"Hey, Hwoarang." Steve said, clicking on his car alarm and walking over.

"You know what I just realized?" Hwoarang asked as they walked up the steps.

"That you have bad people skills?" Steve guessed.

"No, I realized that we have to establish stereotypes at this school." Hwoarang answered. "We'll start with Asuka, she can be the obvious closet-lesbian."

"Jin can be the emo." Steve elaborated, and both friends cackled.

"I guess that makes you two the petty gay guys." Jin muttered as he walked past them.

"We're not gossiping!" Steve shot.

"Don't listen to him, emo opinion doesn't count." Hwoarang said, waving his hand dismissively. "Hey, where's our class listings, anyway?" he asked, looking around for a bulletin board.

"Julia should know, let's ask her." Steve said, walking up behind her and tapping her on the shoulder. "Hey, Julia, have you seen the class listings?"

"I'm not Julia." Michelle turned to face Steve and Hwoarang. Though the resemblance between mother and adopted daughter was uncanny now that they were the same age, the boys could now see that Michelle was stockier than her daughter, with lighter hair and an overall more aggressive presence.

"But I heard there are no class listings." Michelle answered them despite their gawking. "We all have the same class, one at a time."

"Whoa, Milf." Hwoarang breathed in amazement.

"What did you just call me?" Michelle asked, her hands balling into fists.

"Um, well, technically the term stands for 'Mother I'd Like to-" Steve began.

"Don't you talk to Michelle like that!" Jun stepped up beside her old friend.

"Look, Steve, it's another one!" Hwoarang pointed openly at his rival's mother.

"What is going on over here?" Nina snapped, glaring at Steve.

"It's a herd!" Hwoarang proclaimed.

"Hwoarang!" the copper-haired Korean cringed at the sound of his instructor's young voice. "I apologize for his behavior." Nina and Michelle rolled their eyes before walking off, and Jun gave him an understanding smile before joining them.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, each of them are old enough to be your mother!" Baek hissed, slapping his apprentice upside the head.

"Then why don't _you_ hit on them?" Hwoarang asked.

"What?" Baek asked, his cheeks flushing. Hwoarang grinned, he'd never seen his master so flustered. "That's preposterous!"

"Come on, Baek, you've been alone for as long as I remember. If high school isn't your second chance, I don't know what is." As he walked away, Baek's eyes strayed towards the women Hwoarang had just been harassing. He sighed. _High school._

About ten minutes later…

"Good morning class." Sasayaki greeted as he walked into his classroom. The room was cold, built in the basement with no windows to let in the sun that could very well scorch vampire. He frowned when he noticed that a majority of the males (and some of the faster females) had crammed into the back of the class, except for a few new faces that no one had bothered to warn. Miguel had walked in last, and as a result was seated front and center.

"Oh, come now, you don't think I'm going to hit on you on school property, do you?" he asked the stony-faced class.

"You just said 'come now.'" Asuka grumbled from the far right. Sasayaki grinned to himself.

"I knew teaching would be a good idea." he said. "Now, as you may or may not recall, this is Theatre, which means that by the end of each semester, we will have put on a beautiful play." Most of the fighters looked appalled at this, but if Sasayaki noticed, he didn't show it. "I took the liberty of writing some well-known plays and stories on the board." he motioned to the blackboard behind him. "I think we can start off by voting for which one we'd like to do. Yes?" Paul had raised his hand.

"Uh, yeah, I think it would be better if we voted for what we _don't _ want to do." he suggested.

"Well, that would be rather negative, don't you think?" Sasayaki asked.

"Because I really hate Romeo and Juliet." he went on, ignoring the vampire.

"What? But that's a classic!" Julia said defensively.

"Okay, but-" Sasayaki was cut off.

"It's stupid, and it was obviously written by a guy that hates life." Paul argued.

"It's sweet and romantic!" Jun replied.

"Please, it was pathetic." Kazuya rolled his eyes.

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but-"

"Of course you would say that, you don't know anything about romance." Jun snapped.

"There are limits, Jun." Lee told her. "There's romantic, then there's just plain creepy."

"Can everyone just-"

"Ooh, let's do Cinderella!" Xiaoyu exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

"SHUT UP!" Sasayaki growled. The class stared at him, Xiaoyu in particular looking hurt.

"I still hate it." Paul declared. Sasayaki's eye twitched.

"You're not going to make us do a _Twilight_ play, are you?" Zafina drawled.

"Twilight would be a good play." Miharu chirped.

"But _ew_, Hwoarang's the only one with bronze hair, and he is _not_ Edward Cullen." Lili sniffed.

"I'm too badass to be that sparkling homo." Hwoarang argued.

"I think Jin acts more like Edward." Xiaoyu pointed out, and he glared daggers at her.

"That's not on the board." Sasayaki pointed out.

"Jin?" Steve asked.

"No, not Jin, Twi…ugh…How about you all just take the rest of the class period to write down, in order, your top three choices." Sasayaki said, taking a seat behind his desk.

"Are we allowed to talk it over?" Julia asked.

"No." Sasayaki replied, pulling out a book.

At the end of the class, everyone dumped their folded ballots on his desk and ascended the stairs that would take them out of the vampire's classroom.

"What's our next class, anyways?" Kunimitsu asked.

"I think it was P.E." Feng replied.

"Wonderful." Asuka replied sarcastically.

The fighters grumpily made their way to the gym, and were surprised and scared to find a sort of obstacle course set up, complete with a rock wall, swinging ropes and other things they could not make out due to the fog machine in the back.

"I don't have a very good feeling about this." Steve murmured.

"Just get changed and be prepared!" a voice called from within the fog.

"What if we didn't bring gym clothes?" Lei asked. He had to move out of the way as a rolling rack of clothes was shoved in his direction. The second rack hit Zafina, and she toppled to the ground. Lei grabbed an outfit from the first rack and grimaced at the design.

"Heihachi's face, seriously?" he complained, holding up the otherwise plain white shirt.

"Uh…at least there's nothing wrong with the shorts." Christie commented, holding up the dark blue bottoms. She had been worried that Heihachi would have caught on to the trend of writing something across the butt.

"Five minutes!" Suzuki hollered, and everyone glared before heading to the locker rooms.

"All right, rejects, here's how it goes." Suzuki said exactly five minutes later. Her students were lined up before her, most of the girls still pulling on their shoes or tying their hair back. "Today will just be a simple fitness test. Well, maybe it should be called a survival test." she snickered. "When I say go, you may begin."

"Wait, you're not going to tell us what's on the test?" Lee asked.

"No." she replied, setting up her stop watch. "Take your marks. Get set. GO!"

Hwoarang sped off, already at the head of the group. _Heh, stupid Kazama, I'll beat him at this stupid test, too! And it won't be total bull crap like the end of the fifth tournament…_

Said rival was lumbering in the middle of the group, watching curiously as the Korean clambered over the rock wall. _Fool. He doesn't even realize that he's testing the course for the rest of us._ He smirked when he was sure no one was looking.

"It's okay, Panda, take your time." Xiaoyu assured her friend. The bear was slowly making her way up the wall, her small legs not suited for the plastic material.

"By the way, if you take longer than thirty minutes, you have to help Janet in the kitchen." Suzuki called. A look of sheer terror passed over every student's face, and Jun grabbed the bear from behind and threw her off.

"Out of the way!" she shrieked, shoving Jin out of her path on her way up.

"Mom!" he whined, scrambling to keep a hold of the wall.

"Hope you have fun on your lunch date." Kazuya sneered as he grabbed Jin's leg and dragged him off of the wall.

"Ouch, betrayed by his own parents. Good thing you would never do a thing like that, right mother?" Julia turned to where Michelle had just been standing, but she was nowhere to be seen. Craning her neck, she could just see Michelle leaping down the other side of the wall.

"Hey!" Julia indignantly shouted. Alisa effortlessly flew over the wall, but Panda, who knew she didn't have a chance of getting over on her own, tackled her down.

"Get off!" Alisa ordered, trying to shove the bear off. "Lars, help me!" she pleaded. Lars shook his head.

"I'm still sore about the last time I trusted you!" he replied, practically jumping over the wall. Alisa frowned as she accessed her chainsaws.

"Too easy." Hwoarang gloated as he climbed the rope dangling from the ceiling. He pulled himself up to a raised platform and continued his run. "Whoa," he came to an abrupt stop in front of a swamp. The fog misted everything in sight, and he couldn't tell how he was supposed to cross it. "This is worse than military training."

Behind him, Jun and Michelle were climbing the rope to the platform.

"Is it wrong that I don't feel bad about pushing my own son out of the way?" Jun asked as she pulled herself up. Michelle snorted.

"Jun, we're seventeen. We don't care about anything but ourselves. Besides, I ditched Julia, and I _know_ Ganryu wasn't far behind her."

"Harsh." Jun smiled as she continued to run on the platform.

Hot on their heels, Bob jumped onto the rope, and before Kazuya could shove him out of the way, the large man was steadily making his way to the top. He didn't notice the rope starting to groan and unwind, but Kazuya did.

"Off, fatass!" Kazuya snarled, latching onto Bob's love handles and attempting to climb the fat man to a more sturdy part of the rope. The rope was untwining even faster.

"Your weight is too much!" Bob told him, but Kazuya only jumped on his head and leapt onto the platform. Seconds later, the rope, along with Bob, came toppling down. Christie just managed to dive out of the way.

"What the frick!" Eddy threw up his hands and glared down at Bob.

"Kazuya broke the rope!" Bob insisted, but everyone else only yelled at him.

"I thought you were supposed to be slim in your younger days?" Lei complained.

"I was going through a rough time at seventeen!" Bob shot.

"How are we supposed to get up now?" Lili asked.

"We'll have to make a human tower." Baek decided, already knowing that it was sure to be a disaster.

Jun, Michelle and Kazuya finally reached the swamp, where they found Hwoarang still watching it questioningly.

"What are we supposed to do?" he asked them.

"Cross it." Michelle answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You mean just walk across?" Jun asked, a little worried by the thought.

"Eighteen minutes!" Suzuki called out.

"Eighteen minutes left or eighteen minutes to go?" Michelle asked nervously.

"Either way, we're already down to about half our time." Jun replied. "We can't waste anymore time." They all looked up to see Alisa breezily flying over the swamp.

"You wanna give us a hand?" Hwoarang asked.

"Suck eggs." Alisa replied bitterly, for some reason in a bad mood.

"Well, nothing to do but get across." Jun sighed. Beyond the fog, Alisa screamed, and they could hear thrashing in the water.

"This doesn't look good." Michelle noted, and everyone nodded while grimacing.

End Chapter

**A/N: I know, I'm too lazy to write in a full day of school. How awful of me.**


	3. The First Day Part II

Disclaimer: I only own the messed up, OOC version of Tekken that nobody wants. Oh, and my Ocs! (Nobody wants them, either)

Chapter Three: The First Day (Part 2)

Jin stopped his fear-induced run and raised a thick eyebrow at the scene playing out before him. Lei and Eddy were desperately trying to shove the blob that was Bob to the ground, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Why should I be on the bottom?" Bob argued, swatting Lei away from him as easily as swatting a fly.

"Because," Eddy explained, patience wearing thin. "You're the biggest! You can't expect anyone else to support your weight!"

"Not to mention, you were the one that broke the rope!" Asuka added, arms crossed over her chest. Jin looked and saw that indeed, only a small fraction of the rope was left dangling on the ceiling. He sighed.

"Well, I don't trust you guys! You're not going to pull me up after you get up!" Bob narrowed his eyes at each of the fighters.

"I don't have time for this bullshit." Nina muttered before kicking Bob in the crotch. He toppled, eyes watering, and Nina glared around the group. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Baek quickly stepped onto Bob.

"Everyone, quick!" Xiaoyu and Miharu ran up to them. "Marduk's coming!" Nina quickly leaped onto Baek's shoulders and hoisted herself up. The rest of the fighters followed suit.

"Hurry, he's starting to recover!" Baek warned them, and the fighters picked up the pace. Jin was the last to ascend the Baek-Bob ladder, and when he reached the platform he sprawled out on his stomach and leaned towards his rival's mentor. He had pulled Baek almost halfway up when Baek was pulled down.

"If I can't get up, nobody can!" Bob proclaimed, yanking on Baek's ankle. Never mind that a majority of the fighters had already reached the top…

"Let go of me you unsightly lard!" Baek yelled, kicking Bob in the face. But the larger man was used to such assaults, and his grip never weakened. Jin was trying to figure out just what he should do when the ominous sounds of Marduk's stomping could be heard not too far away.

"Oh, for the love of me," Jin mumbled to himself before opening up the third eye on his forehead and blasting Bob away from Baek. He pulled him up and they began running to catch up with the rest of the group.

"Thank you." Baek said. Jin just nodded as they ran.

"Twelve minutes!" the pink-haired nuisance announced as Jin and Baek reached the edge of the swamp.

"Has anyone gone across yet?" Baek asked Hwoarang. He shrugged.

"Alisa, and Michelle just decided to follow. We're pretty sure they're dead, though." he added, squinting into the fog. More splashing could be heard up ahead.

"You want a piece of me! I'll kill you!" Michelle threatened from the unseen.

"Maybe we should help her?" Jun asked hesitantly, but Kazuya shook his head.

"Mother can handle herself just fine." Julia sniffed, still sore about being left behind.

"Well, we're all going to have to cross it sooner or later, right?" Steve asked. "Or else we all get lunch duty with Janet."

"You know what, I say we go for it!" Paul declared. "What's the worst that could happen?" Not bothering to wait for a response, he bravely started his march through the swamp.

"So we all agree that Americans are stupid." Raven stated. Julia kicked him.

"Ten minutes!"

"Okay, stupid or not, I'd rather face whatever's in front of us than a lunch date with Janet." Hwoarang decided, and he followed Paul.

"Wait!" Anna called, and she jumped onto his back. "I'd rather not get filthy." she explained.

"Get off of me!" he complained.

"I'll make it worth your while." Anna whispered in his ear, and he shrugged before going on silently.

The fighters all made it into the swamp sooner or later, wading through the thick water nervously. Michelle's angry threats and Alisa's frantic screaming grew louder as they crossed.

"Hwoarang," Anna whispered. "Try straying from the central way that everyone else is taking, we might be able to avoid whatever's in front, if it's occupied with Michelle and Alisa."

"Wow, you're smarter than you look." Hwoarang praised, and Anna rolled her eyes as he followed her instructions.

What the other fighters met when they took the path more traveled shocked them.

"Ryu?" Lee asked, raising an eyebrow at the Street Fighter. The man paid no attention.

"Kick her ass!" he jeered, watching as Sakura and Michelle fought. Alisa was attacking Chun Li off to the right, and Paul was grappling with Ken.

"This is the big bad threat?" Kazuya sneered, looking slightly disgusted. "Leave this to me, I kicked his ass before, I'll kick it again."

"Please, you were losing so bad." Ryu taunted, cracking his knuckles.

"Maybe we can just sneak past undetected." Miharu whispered to Xiaoyu, but caught Chun Li's attention.

"You!" she pointed at Xiaoyu. The younger Chinese girl looked behind her, but it was obvious that she was the target. "You are such a poser!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Please, the pigtails, color scheme, everyone knows you were just trying to be me!" Chun Li huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Five minutes!" Suzuki called out.

"But I changed!" Xiaoyu argued. Chun Li snorted.

"Yeah, when you decided you wanted to be Japanese. So what, you're too good to be Chinese?"

"You know, I noticed the same thing. You should have more pride in your heritage, start wearing your traditional garb, dammit!" A handsome young Asian man yelled, shaking his fist.

"Who are you?" Jin asked, confused.

"Wang." he replied.

"What?" Almost every fighter stopped what they were doing to gawk at him. It was odd seeing him without wispy hair and liver spots.

"Ha!" Michelle punched Sakura away from her. "You suck!" she yelled before running along her merry way.

"So, all in favor of following…" Steve let his sentence die when more of the Street Fighters emerged from the fog.

Meanwhile…

"Where the hell are we?" Hwoarang asked. He and Anna were still trudging along in swamp water, but the fog was thinning, and they could no longer hear their peers.

"I don't know, just keep walking!" Anna snapped. She paused, sniffing the air. "Do you smell something burning?" Before Hwoarang could reply, light seemed to filter from above them, and an irritated, horribly familiar face loomed over them.

"Hey! What're you two doing in the soup? That's today's special!" Janet scolded, but neither students could hear her over their own terrified shrieking. Hwoarang dropped Anna and began waddling away from his worst nightmare. Anna spat out swamp water before cursing and going after him.

At the finish line, Michelle was emptying water out of her boots while Suzuki glanced at her watch, grinning widely as she counted down the seconds.

"Ten, nine, eight…" the Tekken fighters came sprinting into view.

"FASTER!" Forest commanded as if they needed to be reminded. They all dove into a sloppy dog pile through the finish line.

"Three, two…" Anna tackled Hwoarang through the finish line. "One."

"How…dare…you." Anna panted, glaring at Hwoarang.

"Save it…lady." Hwoarang retorted, pushing her off.

"Hmm, so the only ones missing are Bob, Marduk and Dragunov." Suzuki mused.

"Good." Jin muttered.

"Dragunov?" Jun asked. "Who's that?"

"Creepy pale kid." Asuka supplied helpfully.

"I wonder why Dragunov got left behind." Julia wondered.

At the broken rope…

Dragunov was rendered unconscious, but that didn't stop Marduk and Bob from trying to prop him up and use him as a stool. In his last waking moments, the poor Russian had simply (and silently) prayed for a quick and merciful death the first time Marduk's foot hit his chest, but he had lost consciousness deciding there could be no god in a world this cruel.

Back at the ending line…

"Doesn't matter, they all get lunch with Janet." Suzuki shrugged, scribbling on her clipboard. "Speaking of which, change out, lunch is next."

"Wait a second, how did you make the swamp lead to Janet's lair?" Hwoarang asked, glaring at the gym teacher. She only snickered before waving them off again.

"I don't even want to know." Baek muttered as he walked past his pupil.

About ten minutes later…

"What is that?" Asuka asked, wrinkling her nose at the green substance on her plate.

"Asparagus Jell-o." Janet replied, fluffing up what everyone knew was a wig. "Boys, pick up the pace back there! The students are starving!"

"Yeah, because you don't know how to cook." Christie muttered, walking off with her tray. Asuka gave one last disgusted look at her plate before following.

"Ugh." Michelle commented when Bob -wearing a hairnet and apron- plopped the green gunk onto her tray. "This is so gross, how is anyone supposed to eat this?"

"Put it in your mouth and chew." Kazuya suggested, but grimaced when his plate was graced with the slop.

"Well, go on, Kazuya, eat your slop." Jin urged. Kazuya glared at him.

"And where's your tray?"

"I'm not eating that crap." his son replied, holding up a paper bag with his name written on it. "I thought ahead."

"What, did you put a whole turkey in that thing?" Nina asked, noticing the size and bulge of the bag. Jin narrowed his eyes.

"I'll have you know, it's chicken." he retorted before walking to his table. Baek raised an eyebrow.

"You know, this may be a perfect opportunity for me to try to smooth out that pointless rivalry between your son and my pupil." he said to Jun and Kazuya before walking over to join the young dictator. Kazuya glared in their direction for a few seconds before Jun pulled him over to her table.

"So, who wants to try it out first?" Lei asked. Seated at his table were most of the second tournament fighters, including Jun, Kazuya, Michelle, Lee, Marshall, and Paul.

"I'll pass." Lee drawled, sliding his plate away from himself.

"I'll try it." Paul shrugged, picking up his fork. He was hungry, and after all, asparagus was supposed to be good for you. Without hesitating in the slightest, he popped a forkful in his mouth. Almost immediately his face turned to the same shade of green as the mysterious food, and he ran for the bathroom. Groaning in disgust, the rest of the fighters mimicked Lee.

"Stupid Baek." Jun muttered, scowling at where the Korean man had successfully talked his way into a portion of the chicken. "I'm actually his mother, you'd think he'd share it with me!"

"After you pushed him out of the way in gym?" Marshall snorted. He fell silent at the look she gave him.

"Hey, what's Kunimitsu doing?" Lei asked. The rest of the table turned and saw that the kunoichi was sneaking towards a lonely table, hunched over to cover whatever she was carrying.

"She's got chips! Get her!" Paul had recovered from his trip to the bathroom, and was now pointing in accusation at Kunimitsu.

"Hey, I stole these fair and square! You're gonna have to pay if you want some!" Most of the fighters began arguing while Lili dug out her wallet.

"I'll give you fifty!" she shouted.

"Wait, where did she steal those from?" Jun asked. As if on cue, Janet looked up.

"MY CHIPS!" she roared, jumping over the counter and running after Kunimitsu. The ninja screamed and dropped half of her bounty, running through the double doors of the cafeteria.

"For god's sake, just give it back to her!" Julia advised, but was ignored. Some of the fighters scrambled to pick up the chips that were left behind, Jun punching off Steve and Asuka in the process.

"Well," Jun said, tearing open her bag of chips. Most of their table had managed to get at least one. "I'm glad things worked out." She turned to Michelle, who hadn't moved from her seat since she'd gotten there. "Michelle, what's wrong? You usually love to see Kunimitsu in trouble." Michelle shook her head, clearing off whatever she'd been thinking about.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, she had it coming." she said with a wave of her hand. "By the way, who's that guy?" she asked, pointing. Jun glanced back.

"I don't know, I never met him before. Kazuya, who is that, the creepy pale kid?" Jun asked. Kazuya glanced up.

"Dragunov." he answered before shoving a handful of Funyuns into his mouth.

"Don't tell me you're checking out that freak." Lei commented.

"Why, what's wrong with him?" Michelle asked.

"Well…for one thing, he doesn't talk." Lei answered.

"And he's creepy." Marshall added.

"Not to mention, he's probably way younger than you." Paul tacked on.

"Oh." Michelle replied, still staring at Dragunov. "I'm going to go talk to him."

"What! But…" before Lei could finish, the Native American was already making her way to the other side of the cafeteria. Lei sighed.

"Oh come on, she's not that hot." Marshall noted.

"Yeah, but look at the men to women ratio of this place, females are a minority." Lei explained. "What is with girls and attractions to bad guys?" he asked, giving Jun a meaningful look.

"It's not like that for every girl." Jun said.

"Oh yeah? Name one in this room." Lei challenged.

"Well…no one likes Lee." the silver-haired man glared at her.

"That's because he's worthless." Kazuya commented.

"Besides, he's not bad. Just a whore." Lee transferred his glare to Lei. He continued: "Look, a lot of the girls like Hwoarang. Why? Because he's a jerk."

"Christie likes Eddy, he's not bad." Jun pointed out.

"Yeah, but now that he's working for Jin, her attraction increased tenfold." Lei replied, jerking his thumb in her direction. Indeed, she could be seen glancing at him every so often, a grin on her face. "And rumor has it that Nina's starting to look at Jin." Jun nearly chocked on her chips.

"She better not be!" she exclaimed, standing up and causing the whole cafeteria to turn and look at her. She sheepishly sat back down again. "I'm just saying, she's really from our generation, it's wrong." The bell rang.

"Whatever, all I'm saying is girls like bad guys. It's sick." Lei finished, and some of the men nodded with him. Jun rolled her eyes and left.

"Well then," Kazuya said, standing up. "What should you start doing?" he asked them as if they were stupid (Which he probably thought they were). He caught up with Jun, leaving all sorts of thoughts muddled in Lei's head. Someone laughed rather maniacally behind him, and Lei turned to glare at Bryan.

"Would you shut up?" he asked, irritated. "Not like you get any girls."

"Are you kidding me? Bitches love me! I'm just too smart to go for it in tournaments, I don't want the drama." the ex-cop said, rolling his eyes. "Tell ya what, the thought of you not being an unbearable goody-goody amuses me. I can help you pick up a chick."

"What do you want in return?" Lei asked, eyes narrowing.

"Watching you trying be a lady's man to will be payment enough." Bryan cackled, putting an arm around Lei's shoulder. "First lesson: Always be late."

"But Janet-"

"Is still chasing cat-freak." Bryan said, pointing out the window. Indeed, the persistent Kunimitsu was still running from the even more persistent Janet, dropping a chip bag every so often. Lei didn't comment, but took his sweet time getting to class with Bryan.

They might as well have just gone in on time. Though they were at least five minutes late, everyone was still in the hall, grumbling and complaining for some unknown reason.

"What's going on?" Lei asked. Steve turned in response.

"The teacher's being a total idiot. She's not letting anyone in unless they're 'fashionable'." Steve said, rolling his eyes.

"Ew! Ruffles on _that_? You're kidding me!" Selene criticized Lili's dress. "And a blunt cut too? Gross." The rich girl clenched her fists but Selene moved on to inspect the next person.

"Has anyone gotten in?" Lei asked. Bryan elbowed him, his face clearly saying "you-re-asking-too-many-questions-to-be-cool-give-it-a-rest-you-nerd."

"Hwoarang, Jin, Kazuya, Lee, Mum, aunt Anna, Christie…I think that's it. Oh, and she made Ganryu, Bob and Marduk go home until they got 'easier on the eyes'." Steve said. Selene shrieked when she saw Steve.

"Red pants? On a guy? EWWW!" the last shriek was so high pitched that everyone cringed, sure that their ears were bleeding. "And what is with the British flag, are you a flagpole or something?"

"Are you going to let us in or not?" Asuka demanded. Selene looked her over.

"You're in." she replied, and Asuka immediately forgot her anger as she walked into the room. Selene looked over at the rest of the group and sighed. "I guess you guys can come in, I'll excuse the horrible fashion sense since it's only the first day."

"And I thought this would be the easy class." Lars muttered, self-consciously touching his hair. Selene had dubbed it: 'stupid-looking.'

"Okay, everyone, have a seat, have a seat." The students looked around in awe, shock and in some cases horror at the room they were to spend the next hour in. The entire back wall and half of each side wall were covered with mirrors, and the patches of wall still visible were decorated with posters of supermodels. A lone empty portrait frame (Next to a bunch of much tinier, empty frames) hung behind Selene's desk, "Hottie of the Week" written beneath it in flowing, elegant script.

"Shoot me now." Kazuya muttered to himself.

"Welcome to my extravagant room." Selene greeted, looking past them to smile at her reflection in back. "In this class, you will hopefully learn to avoid fashion mishaps, be more attractive to whoever you're trying to attract, and overall just be better looking." she said. Most of the fighters were stony-faced.

"As you all noticed, some of you were accepted into my class on your first try. Congratulations!" Asuka laughed at Lili, who sniffed and turned away. "I hope you all continue to serve as role models for your peers.

"Now then, who wants to hand out the syllabuses?" Selene asked cheerfully, looking to her 'model students.' Nina and Kazuya glared, Jin brooded, and Christie and Asuka avoided looking at her. Hwoarang raised his hand.

"Thank you." she cooed, handing him a large stack of papers to pass out. He only grinned and did as he was told.

"Kiss up." Steve muttered when he handed his paper to him.

"Say what you like, I wouldn't mind being the teacher's pet in this situation." he whispered back. Bryan stuck out his leg as Hwoarang passed, and he tripped, papers flying everywhere. Most of the class laughed, and Bryan mouthed to Lei: "See? Easy?"

"Aw, and you were so high up on the fashion list, too!" Selene commented, shaking her head. "What a shame."

"But I just tripped! And it wasn't even my fault!" Hwoarang argued.

"Um, only nerds trip." Selene corrected him, already looking at her nails. The class laughed even harder as Hwoarang finished passing out the papers. They looked down to read it:

Looking Good 101

Taught by Selene Swan, hottest girl alive

Rules:

1. Everyone is expected to show up fashionably late (not rude late, there's totally a difference), as only geeks show up on minute time.

2. You are also expected to show up fashionable (see examples on reverse).

3. Do not show up looking ugly. It is disrespectful to the teacher.

4. Failure to follow my rules will result in a punishment of some sort.

Every week, I will choose the best pupil in the class who will have their picture taken and mounted on the wall behind me. Their picture will eventually move to a smaller frame, but don't worry, you can be Hottie of the Week more than once!

"Any questions?" Selene asked, looking around the room. No one raised their hand. "Good. Let's get started." she said, sitting on her desk. "First topic: What makes someone hot?" her gold eyes darted around the room, looking for a volunteer.

"Love of sex!" Anna offered, and Nina slapped her own forehead and looked away.

"Good answer, what else?"

"Tight pants." Feng muttered sarcastically, but Selene nodded.

"Good, you're learning!" Feng grit his teeth at her obliviousness.

"Clear skin." Christie suggested.

"Yes!"

"An uncontrollable, insane desire to kill off first your grandfather, then your father, then finally yourself to rid the world of horrible evil." Jin murmured quietly, hoping to scare her. The class got quiet, and Selene put a hand to her heart.

"You know, if a little dweeb had said it I'd tell him to get lost, but that was kind of hot." she admitted. Jin scowled as Kazuya smirked.

"Great." Jin mumbled. Who would actually think that kind of behavior was acceptable? It looked as though the conversation would keep going, but a cell phone went off, and when Selene checked it, she gasped.

"Oh no! I'm going to be late for my manicure! Well, that was all for the first day, get better looking and I'll see you whenever!" she babbled, swinging her purse over her shoulder before booking it out of there.

"What?" Steve asked once she was long gone.

"I'm not even going to pretend to understand." Eddy muttered, propping his legs up on the desk.

About twenty minutes later…

After their most pointless class, the fighters trudged over to the last class of the day; study hall. What exactly they would be working on in that class, none of them could guess.

Jim waited behind his desk patiently for everyone to take a seat, looking as if he didn't care if they were actually present or not. The fighters took that opportunity to socialize, talking about just anything to kill time.

"Um…" Jim looked at his class, totally clueless as to how to control them. "You all met me last time, I'm Jim, I used to be a tech producer of a really crappy talk show-" here most of the fighters scowled, "but now I'm currently stuck teaching you guys, so…"

Before Jim could think of what to say next, Kunimitsu barged into the room, slamming the door and leaning against it. Her chest heaved, and her spandex was worn and torn in more than a few places. Yoshimitsu shook his head at the sight of her.

"I told you thieving would be the end of you."

"Shut up." she gasped, sliding against the door. "How that abomination kept chasing me for an hour…" Jim raised an eyebrow at the tired ninja.

"Right, well, if you'll take a seat." he said, gesturing to the open seat next to Lei. Bryan nudged the super cop.

"Hit on the weirdo," he instructed under his breath. Lei rolled his eyes.

"Is that all your advice to me is gonna be? Hit on girls?" Bryan nodded solemnly.

"Persistence." he added sagely, and Lei fought not to roll his eyes again.

Jim went on to tell them that they could use this time to catch up on any work that they might have, and when the fighters told him that they had none, he simply shrugged before sitting behind his desk.

"Uh…nice mask." Lei commented. Kunimitsu turned to him, but he couldn't tell what her intentions were with her face concealed.

"Not like that. Moron." Bryan muttered, kicking Lei from under the desk. "Hey furry," he started, and though they couldn't see her face, her fists clenched. "You. Me. After school." he ordered, steely eyes boring into her mask. Lei fidgeted, suddenly uncomfortable between the two.

"Is that an order?" Kunimitsu drawled, but there was something distinctly not angry in her tone. Lei's mouth fell open.

"Damn straight." Bryan retorted, and Kunimitsu actually snickered.

"All right then, tough guy, I'll see you after school." she said before taking out a notebook to doodle in. Bryan pushed Lei's jaw back up.

"I thought I was supposed to hit on her?" Lei asked, offended.

"You took too long." Bryan shrugged, smiling to himself. _It's gonna be so much fun stealing all of his chances._ he thought evilly. "Besides, she was too much for you to handle." Lei didn't say anything for the rest of the day.

After what seemed like no time at all -the fighters easily fell into the habit of gossiping- the final bell rang, and everyone eagerly fled the room. Lei, still trying to get the hang of his "cool" lessons hung near the back, unaware that Bryan had pushed and shoved his way out near the front. He sighed when he noted Michelle walking out with Dragunov.

_At this rate, I'll be lucky if I get a date with that Man-Hating Williams._ He thought miserably as he moped out of the school doors. He couldn't believe he had a whole year more of this hell.

End Chapter

**A/N: Aw, looks like poor Lei wasn't a fan of high school. Oh well, maybe things will look up for him…maybe. Sorry for taking so long to update, I'll try to get to my other humor soon. Review please!**


	4. The Dating Game

Disclaimer: Why yes, yes I do own Tekken…did I manage to delude you guys, too?

Chapter Four: The Dating Game

Julia considered herself to be a good person. She helped people whenever she could, worked hard, and was generally selfless. And that wasn't including the fact that she was one of the few people who entered the tournament for a good cause. Who had helped Kuma after his rejection from Panda _and_ a beating from Paul? Sure as hell wasn't Marduk. And who consoled poor Ling after Bryan stole her ice cream? Wasn't Jin.

Along with being a good person, Julia was also an excellent daughter. She helped her mom with chores without complaint, celebrated every birthday and mother's day with a heartfelt card and gift, and listened and consoled said mom when she went into one of her bloody raging fits without the slightest warning.

Julia muttered under her breath, throwing open the doors of the dreaded Mishima school. Her usually calm eyes were narrowed as she glared left and right before marching her way in.

Okay, so Heihachi had helped the dumb bear and Miharu had to listen to Xiao's wailing, at least Julia hadn't actually _done_ the damage.

Yes, Julia was (usually) a good, tolerant person. But there were some things even Julia couldn't tolerate, not even for her mom.

"MOM!" Julia yelled, stomping down the tiled school hallway. Most students were quick enough to get out of her way, but Forest and Yoshimitsu unfortunately found themselves jammed into open lockers.

"MOM!" the incensed girl repeated.

"Julia, what's wrong?" Julia whipped around to see her mother grabbing a few books from her locker with a grin on her face. "You look angrier than Lei the time I set him up with femme Mokujin." she recalled the cop's expression with a chuckle. Julia rolled her eyes.

"Mom, are you really dating Dragunov?" Julia wasted no time in asking.

"He actually prefers to be called Sergei-" Michelle started, but Julia's groan drowned out the rest of her sentence.

"Mom, you can't date him, he's a freak!" Julia complained. Michelle sighed and put her hands on her hips.

"I didn't think I'd raised you to be so superficial, Julia." Michelle said haughtily.

"I'm not, but mom, there are limits, standards, rules!" Julia cried, throwing her hands into the air in exasperation. Michelle raised an eyebrow.

"And just what's wrong with him, Julia?" she asked in a very not-interested tone.

"I'm pretty sure he tried to kill Jin!" Julia replied.

"So? From what I've seen, everyone hates him," Michelle said. Jin, who was walking behind her, frowned.

"That's just what I needed to hear," he muttered to himself before continuing on his not-so-merry way.

"Mom, you're so tactless!" Julia scolded.

"Oh, he already knew it." Michelle replied, waving a hand dismissively. Julia was about to say something, but Michelle interrupted her. "Wait, why are you getting so defensive about Jin?" she asked, a slow smile forming on her face. An angry blush spread over Julia's cheeks

"This isn't about Jin! This is about _you_ dating stupid Dragunov!"

"I never said it was about Jin, I was thinking it had more to do with you," Michelle said smugly. Julia finally understood what her mother was implying.

"You've got to be kidding me." she said dryly. "Mom, I don't like-"

"Jin and Julia sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Michelle taunted.

"Ugh, forget it!" Julia seethed, turning on her heel and walking off. Unknown to the Changs, Miharu and Panda had been just around the corner, eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Ooh, wait till Xiao hears about thiiiiiisssssss." Miharu whispered, and Panda nodded gravely.

Julia was still storming down the hall when she heard a taunting laugh to her right. Somehow knowing it was directed at her, she turned, almost hoping for a fight only to be met with the sight of Bryan leaning against a locker. She sneered but decided to continue walking; she was sure that even at seventeen, Bryan was a force to be reckoned with.

"You're going about it the wrong way."

"Excuse me?" she asked, reluctantly turning back to him.

"You can't tell her not to date him, that's only gonna make her want him even more, dumbass." he replied sagely.

"Well what would you do, since you're so knowledgeable on the subject?" Julia snapped.

"Send someone more interesting her way," Bryan shrugged. "Look around, there's plenty of losers who'd meet your standards." Julia rolled her eyes and walked away, but secretly contemplated his advice.

She had always thought her mother would do well with a man like Baek; he was kind, hard-working, intelligent, and very patient (he had to be, to mentor a lunatic like Hwoarang). Not to mention, if Marshall was telling the truth, he also had a slight crazy streak, which meant Michelle wouldn't get bored with him.

The more Julia thought about it, the more she liked it. All she would have to do was put that big brain of hers to work, and she was sure it could happen. Content with her new idea, she strolled to her locker without so much as a glare.

Fifteen minutes later, Bryan walked through the door of the theater classroom and took a seat next to Lei. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest before whispering: "I hooked you up."

"Really?" Lei asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "Wait, it better not be with Janet." he said, face darkening at the thought.

"Relax, stooge." Bryan said, rolling his eyes. "It's with Chang."

"Which Chang?" Lei asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"The older one, now shut up," Bryan ordered. "the sound of your womanly whining irritates me." Lei glared, but did as he was told. Bryan, in the meantime, took a few minutes to appreciate himself. If he wasn't so damned smart, he'd be surprised at how great his manipulation skills were. Sure, he'd told Julia that there were plenty of losers, but she would inevitably narrow her list of losers to just one loser, and that loser would be Lei. She would probably rule out Paul first, since he was practically a bum. Then Marshall, since he was married. Kazuya was also taken, and if he wasn't, he was still creepy. Baek was almost normal, but Hwoarang would come with that territory, and Bryan was positive that Julia would rather die than interact with him outside of tournaments. Lee was too much of a prissy pervert and both Changs hated Ganryu. That left Lei.

And seeing Lei get involved with a mess as bad as Michelle and Dragunov, that would be downright _hilarious._

"Good morning class," the blonde vampire sped into the room and dropped his things behind his desk. Standing in front of the chalkboard, he clasped his hands together.

"I've good news and bad news, today." he informed the unenthused class.

"Bad news first," Kazuya demanded. Sasayaki ignored him.

"The good news is, I've counted all of the ballots." he said, giving a very fake smile to the class. It dropped from his face as he went on to add: "The bad news is, you're all incompetent, and not one of you voted for anything on the board!"

"They were all stupid," Miguel stated, and most of the fighters nodded in agreement.

"Well then, I hope you're all happy with the results. Granted, over half of you voted for subjects such as: 'this is gay' or 'You're gay'-" Hwoarang and Steve snickered, both pleased that their little prank had gone so well. "But, with a staggering four votes, _Twilight_ has won this election."

"What!" Hwoarang instantly stopped laughing at the sound of that. "Who the fuck voted for that?"

"It matters not." Sasayaki sniffed. "You didn't want to take this class seriously, and now you're all stuck doing Twilight. That said, homework tonight will be reading the novel, while today in class we'll be watching the movie."

"Oh come on! Can't we take a re-vote?" Paul begged.

"No. You all deserve this." Sasayaki said, going to the closet to roll out the TV. Kazuya, angry about first being ignored, then being told of the Twilight play, snatched one of Lee's (expensive) shoes from his gym bag and chucked it at the teacher's head.

"I hope you didn't need this for the rest of the day." Sasayaki said coldly, picking up the shoe that had bounced off of his head. Kazuya only smirked in response. Lee gasped.

"But that's my shoe!" he exclaimed in horror.

"After class, Mr. Chaolan!" Sasayaki said, too irritated to deal with any more banter. Lee glared at Kazuya and put his head on the desk, bracing himself for the torture.

Three seats behind Lee, Hwoarang leaned back in his seat, convinced that staring at the ceiling would be a better use of his time. He had maintained the uncomfortable position for almost a full minute when Steve tapped on his shoulder.

"What?" Hwoarang asked.

"Aren't you worried?" his blonde friend asked.

"About what?"

"The play. You know you're going to be cast as Edward, right?" Steve asked. Hwoarang snorted.

"You heard them last class, stupid Kazama acts more like Sparkle McEmo than I do." he replied.

"Yes, but they're not going to be looking for who _is _like Edward, they're going to look for who _looks _like him." Steve said.

"Are you trying to insult me? I look nothing like that guy!" Hwoarang pointed at the TV even though the vampire hadn't made his debut. Xiaoyu and Miharu both turned in their seats to "sh!" him, but most of the class didn't seem to mind. Steve rolled his eyes.

"In the books, he's described as young, with bronze hair." Steve informed him, and Hwoarang gave him a weird look.

"How do you know? Don't tell me you actually read the books?" Hwoarang asked. Steve flushed.

"No! It's just that my last ex wouldn't shut up about him! She even tried to get me to dye my hair and wear contacts…stupid bitch." Steve's face darkened, and Hwoarang decided to paddle to safer waters.

"Ok, ok, it's cool. But I'm not gonna worry about it, there's plenty of other people that those stupid girls will harass." Hwoarang decided, leaning back with utmost confidence.

However, it turned out that the bronze-haired boy had much to worry about. Throughout the movie (which was, in his opinion, stupider than Jin) more than a few people turned in their seats to look at him; Xiaoyu and Miharu whispered excitedly as their eyes swept from Edward to Hwoarang and back to Edward. Paul made eye contact with Hwoarang and snorted. Julia gave him a pitying look, and Jin smirked triumphantly near the end of the movie. As the credits began rolling, Hwoarang began to wonder if he should stop dying his hair.

"All right," Sasayaki said once the TV was off. "I hope this lingers in your mind the next time you hope to pull a fast one on me." a majority of the class glared as Sasayaki tossed his hair and wheeled the TV back into the closet.

"I hate this class," Jin muttered, but his voice was drowned out by the bell. As a whole, the class reluctantly made their way to gym.

As the fighters (all clad in unfashionable gym clothes) emerged from the locker rooms, Suzuki shook her head.

"Tsk, tsk," she said in mock disappointment, looking over their obstacle course scores. "I've seen dying old ladies with better reflexes than you boobs." Asuka glared indignantly.

"That's a bunch of crap! We're the world's greatest fighters!" she argued.

"That's not what Ken said." Suzuki shrugged. The Tekken fighters all scowled at her. "Now play dodge ball, it will amuse me."

"I hate this class, too." Jin sulked, but no one heard him over the clatter of red balls bouncing along the gym floor.

"Wait, we didn't make teams!" Lili pointed out, but their teacher only shrugged again.

"You think I care about organization? Just beam each other, now, now, NOW!" the tyrant ordered.

"That's ridicu-" Lili's sentence was cut off by a ball to the head, courtesy of Asuka. "Oh, you're going to pay for that!"

So the next hour was to be spent in bad sportsmanship, agony, and laughing at other people's expense.

"Ha!" Anna was bent double in glee, pointing at her sister, who's eye was swelling by the second. "Take that you old heifer!" Nina glared before throwing a well-aimed ball of doom at Anna's chest. She smirked as the brunette cursed and clutched at her assets.

"Enjoy the breast cancer, harlot!" she taunted.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how you get breast cancer." Steve spoke up, but was silenced by a menacing glare from the blonde assassin.

"It's time to meet your doom, fool." Kazuya spat, winding his arm back before firing a dodge ball at his son. Jin dramatically dove out of the way, and it hit Paul instead.

"You'll have to aim better than that!" Jin yelled. Kazuya glared and stepped out of the way as Kunimitsu went flying past him, the force of Yoshimitsu's throw sending her to slide against the back wall.

"Jin, you have my fealty!" Lee pledged, stepping up beside Jin. "Lars, help us annihilate your asshole brother!"

"This is because of your shoe, isn't it?" Lars asked, but was taken down by a rather malicious shot by Ganryu.

On the other side of the court, Julia was in constant motion, trying to avoid the merciless barrage that she'd been made target of. She finally caught her breath when she ran behind Bob.

_I don't get it,_ she thought, panting. _Why do Miharu and Panda keep aiming for me?_ Indeed, it seemed that the two females had a system set up: Miharu would retrieve any stray balls and give them to Panda, who would then hurl them furiously at Julia. Julia herself had been hit twice (once in the shoulder and once on the backside), and couldn't understand their vehemence. Michelle raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

"What's with those two?" she asked, jerking a thumb towards Julia's would-be assassins.

"I don't know," Julia admitted, running to keep up with Bob's pace. "Maybe they heard me insulting Twilight last period."

"Hm…" Michelle replied, and tapped Dragunov on the shoulder. "Feel like taking out a girl and a bear?" He glanced down at her emotionlessly, but nodded. As he lifted a ball and aimed for Panda's head, three balls came at him in succession, and in the next second Dragunov was sprawled on the floor.

"Lei!" Michelle snapped, startled by her old friend's actions. Lei shrugged.

"Sorry, he looked kinda _evil_ from over here!" Lei replied. Bryan patted his shoulder.

"All's fair in love and war," he said, grabbing a dodge ball and hitting Zafina's ankle.

Near the end of the hour, the sides were starting to get sloppy; over half of Team G-Corp (led by Kazuya) had given up and were content to sit on the bleachers, and Team Zaibatsu wasn't doing any better. Jin and Lee were conversing in a corner, much like a commander and general would, and they both solemnly shook their heads before each grabbing ball and running towards the middle of the court.

Both men hurled them as hard as they could at Kazuya, but, smirking, he dodged them both.

"Morons," Kazuya taunted, and was deftly hit on the side of the head by a red ball of fury. Glaring murderously, he turned to face his youngest brother, who shifted slightly under the demonic gaze. Slowly, as if daring Lars to move out of the way and face greater consequences, Kazuya lifted the hand holding the ball and quickly threw it.

Lars closed his eyes and braced himself for what would probably be the most painful hit ever caused by a dodge ball. He waited for a few seconds, heard the sound of flesh meeting rubber…

…but didn't feel a thing. Slowly, almost afraid of what he was about to see, he looked up.

Jun was standing not too far ahead of Lars, looking at Kazuya in a way that was downright murderous as the ball bounced away from her and onto the floor. There was a red circle on her face. Her eye twitched.

The whole gym waited with baited breath, waiting to see Kazuya's reaction. The scarred man shrugged. "You were in the way," he said, and Jun could have very easily been mistaken for Ogre.

"I see," Jun said in a calm voice. The bell rang just a few seconds too late for Kazuya to have been saved by it, and the class headed towards the locker rooms.

"Why didn't you tell us the bell was going to ring?" Steve asked, but rolled his eyes when he saw that their teacher was napping on the bleachers.

Ten minutes later…

"Oh-Em-Gee, Xiao, you have to listen to this!" Miharu blurted out once she and her clique had settled at their table. Xiaoyu looked up, chopsticks halfway to her mouth.

"What?" she asked before popping the rice into her mouth.

"Julia has a crush on Jin!" Miharu said in a low tone, and Xiao stopped chewing. "Me and Panda heard her and Michelle talking about it this morning."

"Really?" Xiao asked. "That seems…random."

"What do you mean, 'random'?" Miharu demanded, and Panda raised a fuzzy eyebrow (do pandas have eyebrows?).

"Well, last I heard Julia had a crush on King," Xiaoyu explained. "And she doesn't really know Jin, _and_ she works for his dad, who he hates." Miharu and Panda exchanged a look. "What?" Xiaoyu asked, already knowing she wouldn't like the answer.

"Are you jealous?" Panda finally made use of her dry-erase board. Xiao shook her head.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?"

"No reason!" Miharu replied, taking away Panda's board. "You're totally right, you have nothing to be jealous of, it's just Julia."

Xiaoyu went back to her food, not getting as much enjoyment as she thought she would from her home lunch. Yes, she didn't have anything to fear from Julia, Julia wasn't interested in Jin.

And even if she was, she was a nerd, and talked about boring things, and she had bad fashion sense, and-

_Whoa,_ the small girl mentally shook and reprimanded herself for thinking such mean things. What was she getting so worked up over? Julia hadn't done anything wrong, and Jin was just her friend.

Her hot friend. Her hot muscular friend. Her hot, muscular, rich friend. Her hot, muscular, rich friend who's grandpa already like her-

Wait, when was the last time she'd even talked to Jin? Xiaoyu continued chewing even slower, feeling lost as she was engulfed in a mist of her own confusion.

A few tables behind her, Lei tapped Bryan's shoulder. "I thought you said you were hooking me up with Michelle," Lei complained, gesturing to the lone table in the middle of the cafeteria. It was occupied by Michelle and Dragunov.

"Wait it out, worrywart." Bryan commanded, stabbing the pepperoni that had begun to twitch on his pizza. It hissed at him, and he stabbed it again.

"What does Dragunov have that I don't?" Lei wondered aloud, glaring enviously at the silent man. It was pure horror, living in a world where Dragunov had a girlfriend and Lei didn't.

"He can't talk," Bryan suggested. He looked up and didn't say anything when he noticed Julia walking across the cafeteria. _Bingo_. He thought. _Look how she's looking right at Lei with all that determination! All according to plan…_

Julia walked right past Lei and Bryan and slid onto the empty seat between Jin and Baek. This did not go unnoticed by a certain cyborg and a couple of scandalized schoolgirls...and school bear.

"Hey, Jin, Baek," Julia gave a shaky smile.

"Hi," Jin replied. Usually he was hostile and alert during lunch -he knew his meals were coveted by many in the cafeteria- but he had already eaten every bite of sushi, and was more than happy at the moment. Baek, still only halfway through his meal, eyed Julia warily.

"Hello, Miss Chang," he greeted, slightly hunching over his meal.

_Oh crap, how am I supposed to start this?_ Julia thought, panicking. Both men were looking at her, waiting to see what she wanted.

"So…my mom's looking pretty hot, huh?" Jin and Baek's eyes widened at that, and they stared at her blankly. _Why did I just say that!_

"I guess…" Baek answered, not wanting to appear rude.

"Are you sure you're not looking for _them_?" Jin asked, pointing at the back of the cafeteria. Julia turned around and saw Hwoarang manning a booth that read: "MILFs."

"What! No, I…" Julia was at a loss for words. She sighed. "Okay, look, I just came here because I really don't want my mom to date that weirdo Dragunov, and I was hoping one of you could help me break them up." Jin straightened a little at that. He hated Dragunov with a passion, and who could blame him? The creepy man had been standing over him, watching Jin sleep! Okay, so Jin still wasn't entirely sure if that was a dream or not, but it had seemed pretty real to him.

"I…have to go dump this tray," Baek said lamely, standing up with his tray of food. Julia groaned as the bell rang.

"Walk with me," Jin insisted, standing up and gathering all of his rubbish into a bag. Julia raised her eyebrows, a little skeptical at first, but wasn't one to turn down help with sabotage.

"Huh, look at that," Michelle said, noticing her daughter walking off with Jun's son. "she's finally admitting it to herself." Dragunov just nodded noncommittally to his plate.

"And just what the hell is this all about!" Asuka demanded, marching up to Hwoarang's booth. Upon closer inspection, it was housing boxes of "MILF" buttons and "MILF" shirts. The spunky Korean scowled at her.

"It stands for Males Inspired by Life-giving Females," he explained shortly, pointing to the banner above his head. Asuka rolled her eyes.

"You're full of it! It's never going to get approved as an actual club!" she shot.

"Already has," Hwoarang replied smugly, holding up a paper signed by Heihachi Mishima. "Two steps ahead of you, Kazama."

"And that's the only Kazama you'll ever be able to say that to." Jin muttered as he walked by with Julia.

"Who's talking to you, Daffy-ass?" Hwoarang replied as he packed away his precious merchandise. Asuka rolled her eyes one more time before following her cousin. Hwoarang called out to Steve.

"Hey, Steve, you sure you don't wanna join?" he asked, holding up a button with a grin.

"Not unless you remove my mother from the milf list!" Steve hissed.

"Sorry, then, no deal." Hwoarang said, falling into step with the blonde. "Your mom's like, number one, because she likes spandex."

"I don't want to hear that!"

After everyone had settled in their Looking Good class, they waited expectantly for their teacher to stop slumping over her desk. There was an ice pack on her head, and she groaned when she saw them.

"Are we even doing anything today?" Anna drawled, and Selene groaned again.

"Stop talking so loud," she whined. "Ugh…today, all of the attractive people have to give pointers to the less attractive." she mumbled into her desk. The class stared blankly at her.

"Well," Asuka chirped, turning in her seat to face Lili. "I think you should stop being stingy, and start spending your money on some good clothes." Lili's eyes bulged at the insult.

"Oh what do you know about fashion!"

"Stop wearing ugly pants," Nina told Steve. "And I'm not just saying that because of the assignment, that's motherly advice."

"Why, thanks, mum." Steve said dryly.

"Pants with fire on them just give me more of an excuse to call you a flaming homo, so please keep wearing them." Hwoarang said to Jin.

"And your tight-shirt midriff combo makes it possible for potential future husbands like Marduk to fully appreciate and analyze your body." Jin replied.

The rest of that class passed in an insulting blur, and more than a few people were looking put off by the time the bell rang.

"Oh, homework!" Selene called as they got up. "Bring in your best picture of yourself, I have to pick the first Hottie." she explained before putting her head back down.

"At least we've only got the easy class left," Lei had decided to walk with Jun, who hadn't said anything since gym. She didn't look at him, but nodded in acknowledgement. Bryan caught sight of Lei and nodded, giving a thumbs up. Lei shook his head.

_I'm not hitting on Jun, she's just a friend. What kind of a sick person would I be, picking on Jun when she's so vulnerable and angry?_ Coming from nowhere, Lee dashed up to the other side of Jun, putting on one of his most charming smiles.

"Jun," he greeted warmly. "Those look heavy, let me help." Before she could say anything, he took her books from her and carried them. For a moment, Lei thought Jun was going to politely demand her books back, or maybe even punch Lee to take out her frustration, but she only looked up and smiled at him.

"Oh, thanks Lee," she said sweetly. "How thoughtful of you." Bryan had to bite his lip to keep from cackling at the look on the super cop's face. _Being Lei must suck!_

The fighters sat in their usual spots, with friends and newly formed couples squeezing together and rivals sitting as far away as they could possibly be from each other. Jim sat behind his desk, not looking up from his laptop as they began to gossip.

"So, how were your other classes?" he asked lamely.

"Stupid." Leo muttered. "None of the teachers know anything about anything!"

"This is exactly why this school sucks so bad." Yoshimitsu said. "Bad teachers." Jim rolled his eyes and went back to his laptop.

"Agreed," Miguel muttered. "Why the hell are they teaching us, anyways? They weren't even in a tournament." Steve frowned.

"Well yes, they're bad teachers, but I don't see how not being in the tournament contributes to that." he said.

"Well, duh, it contributes to everything." Lili sassed. "We don't know them. The rest of us all at least recognize each other by sight."

"But, you don't usually know your teachers-"

"And next thing you know, everyone will care about them, or fall in love with them, or care when one of them dies." Paul added, rolling his eyes.

"Ouch," Jim muttered. "Well, in our defense, I don't see how we're any more ridiculous than you guys."

"What are you talking about?" Marshall asked. A majority of the fighters looked on with interest. "There's a vampire, a siren and a pink-haired lunatic, how is that reasonable!"

"I didn't say they were," Jim replied. "But you guys have your fair share of weirdness, too. I mean, a green ogre that absorbs some of you, but you're all fine with no explanation about that-"

"Trust me, you don't want to hear about that." Wang said, shuddering.

"Then there's a gothic, slimy version of her that pops out of nowhere and disappears without any explanation." he added, jerking his thumb at Jun.

"That's my sister!" she argued.

"And that's still not a good explanation. You've got a wooden person, kangaroos and bears that don't speak, but everyone can understand them. A man that growls, yet everyone can understand, and not to mention, you all speak different languages, and can understand each other perfectly. You expect us to believe you're all fluent in Chinese, Korean, Japanese and English? Then there's the Devil _gene_ which just doesn't make any sense at all." By then the fighters were speechless, not knowing how to take the attack on their tournament life.

"Pink hair, cat ears, wings, and fangs!" Paul roared, and the fighters nodded and jeered in agreement.

"I didn't want to have to do this," Jim said, taking a breath. "Half-brother of a main character that no one ever heard about until now, who's only half-Japanese, which of course means he's a blonde haired, blue-eyed Japanese." Jim started, pointing at Lars. "Who, along with his _pink-haired_ robot girlfriend, gets amnesia and manages to shove other characters that used to be important into the background."

"What did I do?" Lars asked. Honestly, he'd been staying out of the stupid debate.

"Way to go, Lars." Feng mumbled.

"Now I hate this class, too." Jin said bitterly.

When the bell finally rang, the fighters burst from the classroom, all happy about being released from their intellect-diminishing prison. Lei was walking down the hallways by himself, still recovering from being shoved out of the way by Bob.

"Stupid Blob," Lei winced, clutching at his side. "I could have been out five minutes ago-" his complaining was cut short when a hand reached out and pulled him into the men's bathroom.

"Wha-" he stopped himself when he was met with Kazuya's glare. "Uh, hello, Kazuya…" _What did I do? He should be doing this to stupid Lee, not me!_

"You're friends with Jun," he stated in a low tone, and Lei gulped and nodded confirmation.

"Yes, _friends_." Lei said slowly, hoping that Kazuya realized that he meant platonic friendship.

"Convince her to stay away from Lee," Kazuya ordered, and Lei gave him a confused look.

"Why don't you just threaten Lee-?"

"He's grown used to the threats, and the beatings." Kazuya spat. Indeed, Lee had endured so many injuries from Kazuya that he mastered the art of not only surviving, but making pitying females think he was some sort of hero for it. It made Kazuya sick, but he knew that if he attacked Lee, it would only drive Jun further into his arms.

"I don't know if she'll listen to me, maybe Michelle…" Lei stopped himself when he realized that Michelle hated Kazuya's guts. "You could just say sor…never mind." Lei sighed.

"Get it done." was all Kazuya said before exiting the bathroom. Lei ran a hand through his bangs and sighed. How did he keep getting into these messes?

_More importantly,_ he thought. _How am I supposed to get out of them?_

**A/N: OMG what have I done! I hated high school romance…but it wouldn't be high school without all of that drama, no? Sorry for taking so long to update, I'm still getting over a mean case of writer's block. Hope you were all able to enjoy it.**


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